Now, while I would prefer that this blog not become a collection of midnight rantings of general saditude, I think that sometimes a jddaughter needs a place to go after midnight, after her workouts, where she can vent and think a little. So here is my short sweet thought of the night:
I have a beef with the Mercy of God. I don’t like it much. “But jddaughter!” you say, a tinge of worry spread across your mercy-loving face, “without mercy, we’d all be condemned metaphorical toast!” Which I tend to agree with. Here’s the thing though. I think that Mercy ends up just causing a lot of pain for the innocent. Sure, no one is really innocent. The more I get down to thinking about life, the more I realize that the very act of breathing in and out is probably hurting someone else somewhere. The clothes I wear might be made in sweat shops, the food I eat harvested by underpaid workers and taken from the bones of abused chickens. The car I drive on the paved road my taxes help maintain hurts the environment of the critters who lived on the place before the road, and breathed the air before the car. I’ve said mean things, and done stupid things, and so have you. I’m probably hurting someone right now and I don’t even realize it. I get it. No one is coming out of this unscathed. But the thing is, I think that it would be very refreshing if the bad people, including me, would get punished every once in a while…like, as soon as they do a bad thing.
I think a lot of my pent up anger and frustration comes from how much I despise the merciful way that God deals with the children of God. I think a lot of anger that people have with God about say, The Institutionalized Church, isn’t because they honestly believe that God is out to get them, but because God allows his children to make mistakes. Huge, freakin, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, and at times tyrannical mistakes, which cause pain and suffering to the human family. And what’s worse than that is he lets them believe that they are doing His work, and he lets it happen. God is so merciful that I hate him sometimes. I hate that people who hold great power over others are allowed to err. I wish that badly written talks, potentially oppressive policies and poorly informed leaders would suddenly have an unstatistically precedented power to attract bolts of lightening. Now, while I get what you’re saying, that it’s a wheat and tares thing where you can’t tell so don’t pluck…I guess I expect greater things from what should be “God’s chosen church”. I expect some sort of direct intervention to prevent it from erring. I expect immediate raiders of the lost ark style justice. I love God’s justice, I think. I love it cause I think I would be happier if the bad people got punished, even if that includes me. I’ve never been a mercy fan, and though I’ve been growing in a person by person understanding of its value…institutions, in my opinion, should be mercy free. Maybe that’s why I’m not God. I think I’d be a little scary.