"Oop. The definition fits! You ARE a Feminist!"

Ok, so the giant post of true but possibly inflammatory, insulting and poorly written doom, isn’t ready to be published yet. Or possibly ever. But I think that there might be some salvageable snippets here and there worth sharing.

Here’s one. Hold your judgment.  I haven’t edited it.


concentrate. ( trying to make it as concise as possible…)

Just as racism is not the same as prejudice- Sexism is not the same as prejudice.

Prejudice is when you think certain things (often infantilizing or degrading) about someone just because of the way they look or a group they belong to.

Sexism is a “system of advantage based on sex.”

That is, sexism is a system- a way that things are set up which grants advantages to one sex over another.

Those who support, enable and/or benefit  from this system are called “sexists.”

Those who have prejudice against women, believing certain things about women which oversimplify, degrade and/or infantilize them are  called PEOPLE.

Those who are actively, knowingly prejudiced against women are called JERKY PEOPLE.

Everyone thinks things about women which are not true and which infantilize, oversimplify and degrade them…because we live eat and breath a world where women are not considered the norm. Women are defined by their relationship with men in every facet of our culture ( just as black people are define by their relationship with white people).   This system is called the PATRIARCHY.

Patriarchy is evident in all types of media, laws, religion, and day to day conversation.

This system existed before we were born, and in order to function in this world, you are exposed to it.

Patriarchy exists like smog in the air.  Everyone is exposed to it and so it is not obviously noticeable.  It is there, though.

We were taught what a woman was, in relation to white men ( the norm, seen individually, and not as a group) as soon as we were born.

Since we live in this system, the sex that is favored is men.  Men receive privileges and senses of entitlement they do not deserve, but have been given to them because they are men. Since everyone wants to believe that their privileges are deserved, people do not like to hear that they receive privileges  automatically due to a system.

They need to get over this. They includes classist, white people, like myself.

Read this.

Sexism in kind of like a conveyor belt.  There are blatant sexists who are jogging on the conveyor belt towards an increasingly sexist world.  They are active sexists.

Men who are not active sexists, but still do nothing, or choose not to acknowledge their male privilege…are still sexist.  They still benefit from the Patriarchy’s system.  They are still moving in the same direction as the active sexists.

In order to overcome sexism , you have to be actively moving in the opposite direction of the conveyor belt at a faster rate than it is moving.

These people are called FEMINISTS.

Feminists are the sexiest men and women on earth.  Hands down.

Traditionally, since women do not benefit from sexism, they cannot be sexist by definition.  Some women have found that life is much much much easier if they attempt to get power by complying with the patriarchy.  These women are called me-eight-years-ago.

These women are not stupid- but one never becomes equal to someone who they must please in order to be granted comfort and and acceptance.

If you try to fight against the patriarchy, those who benefit from it will fight you.

If you fight against the patriarchy, those who have chosen a life which complies with patriarchy for functionality (again, these people are not dumb and bad. They are smart and are attempting to succeed ) will feel that it is a judgment on their lifestyle choices…and will fight you.

People who think a good way to gain equality would be to separate the divisions of labor and leadership based off of  definitions of women they got from a patriarchy saturated world are called CONFUSED.

They perpetuate the flawed system which disempowered women in the first place by limiting them. See here and here

If you think nice things about women, that they are kind, and pretty and smart…how nice. Thanks.  That does not make you a feminist though.

If you do not believe that there is a system which favors men over women …you are blind.  You are also not a feminist.

If you say you are a feminist, but you remain ( deliberately or otherwise) completely unaware of your male privilege and continue to exercise it with it’s accompanying sense of entitlement – I have probably dated you.  You are not a feminist.

If you are aware of your male privilege and actively work against it and but refuse to acknowledge it within your religion… then you are capable of incredible mental magic.  No seriously. I keep expecting you to pull a rabbit out of a hat or something.  Also, you are probably Mormon.

And you are not a feminist.

If you you are aware of the existence  male privileges  in all facets of your life, and actively work against them you are a feminist.  And I am giving you a big hug right now. Also, do you need anything?  A glass of water?  A place to stay?  A shoulder to cry on?  I will buy you flowers, because seriously, your life is hard.  Honorable, worth it, but hard.



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5 responses to “Snippet

  1. This is a wonderfully written snippet, so don’t worry about that.

    Yes, we certainly were using different definitions of ‘feminist.’ This perfectly mirrors a conversation I had with a friend last week about patriotism–she wasn’t very fond of the concept, while I am (as long as it doesn’t get carried away into nationalism or thinking your country is always right). We discovered that it came down to me defining the word as much more of a feeling or belief, with action in that direction being basically optional. I use the word feminist in generally the same way. I don’t claim that is right, in fact it’s certainly a more wishy-washy way to use it than your way.

    There’s certainly a tradeoff between the inclusiveness and power of a word. For example, take the word ‘Mormon.’ Do we use that to mean only those who believe all the truth claims of the LDS church and keep commandments like the Word of Wisdom, law of chastity, tithing, etc? Or do we stretch it to include inactive members, excommunicated members who still believe, active members who don’t believe but haven’t told anyone about it, and/or members of other religious traditions that trace their history back to Joseph Smith (FLDS, Community of Christ, etc)? I tend to like to use ‘Mormon’ in the second, more liberal way, but in a sense doesn’t that dilute the phrase? It makes it so almost anyone who has ever had any contact with the Church is a Mormon–it starts to mean almost anything. I think similar things with the use of ‘feminist’: your way is awesome and powerful, but it makes so many people I think of as feminists in one way or another no longer feminist. Maybe that’s right, though.

    Either way, this has given me a lot to think about how I can be more active in my feminism and what I mean by that word. Thanks!

  2. C.

    Brava! Bravissima!

  3. lat

    I loved this – I kept thinking I would run into something I disagreed with, but no, you pretty much summed up how I feel about feminism perfectly. Thanks!

  4. Pingback: Jddaughter is an “Anti-Femi-Missed” « Jephthah’s Dancing Daughter

  5. Moniker Challenged

    Glad the blog is taking off- love it!

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