Whenever a relationship ends, I usually delete all electronic correspondence. If there is any physical correspondence, I usually throw it away, or return it to the writer. In rare cases, for cathartic or communication purposes…I light it on fire.
My reasoning is just. I don’t want stuff from the person to be in my life anymore. It’s nothing really personal. I have just watched as my friends hang onto their old boyfriends waaaaay past the expiration date. They pull out old letters, old pictures. (For the record…I also get rid of all pictures) They check old e-mails and his facebook page again and again and again.
Even before I started dating in college, I could see the bad effects of keeping stuff around by watching other people. Doesn’t take a graduate degree to identify something as unhealthy.
And you know what? The great purge works. There is no reason to keep an old relationship around past its prime. I mean, that relationship already sucked out loads of your emotions, time, and resources and very likely left you feeling pretty blue. Don’t let it take your job, or your fun or your confidence or one more second of your time away from you!
But there is one thing I miss about all those letters and emails. My voice.
More my voice than any journal entry- a personal correspondence captures passion, boredom,friendship, jokes, interaction, dueling opinions and a wide variety of topics.
I miss having a correspondence. It is there that most of my mind and history is. There I don’t have to edit myself, and my thoughts flow freely.
I don’t want a correspondence to argue. There is just something pretty cool about having the mind and voice of someone you genuinely respect waiting for you each day.
Maybe I should start an e-mail correspondence with someone I know I’ll never date but who’s opinions I really respect and who I can’t wait to hear from.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was someone I could just call at any time to talk feminism with? I’ve heard the Meredith has someone she can call. I need to find me a feminist phone and e-mail confidant(e).
Until then…I can always spill my guts on an anonymous blog.